Saturday, February 28, 2015

Just 1...Just one what?

It feels a little surreal to sit here writing...a blog of my own.  For 3-4 years now I have felt prompted to share my life with those who would read, but honestly, it totally intimidated me and I just didn't do it.

There are a lot of fears for me in putting myself out to the "world" this way.  First off, in high school I struggled to write and had to take some pretty basic classes my senior year to prepare myself for college.  It just doesn't feel like a strength...even a little.  Second, I have felt like if I stepped into this blog it wouldn't be a surface blog but something from the heart...that feels vulnerable...very vulnerable. As a young girl and teen I was extremely shy and reserved.  I have never been the life of the group.  Insecurities in my self physically and internally became my normal.  Even though over the years, I have grown and gained confidence in many areas there is still a part of that little girl in me that fears sharing her voice...her heart with others...what if I am rejected?  What if my story isn't enough...what if...what if...you know, those "what ifs" can be crippling. I don't want to live my life off of "what ifs".  And I don't want to live with regrets.  I really don't want that to be the example I pass to my kids either.

Okay, so now that we have that out of the way...what is the name of this blog about?  Well, I was reading something recently and saw a quote from Mother Teresa that said, "If you can't feed a hundred, then feed JUST ONE."  That struck me...pretty deep.  I have a heart to help and serve others, but I am in a season where my biggest ministry is within the four walls of my own home.  The four blessings I have surrounding me right now deserve the majority of my heart and attention.  But I ache to help...to give...to travel to Cambodia (again), and serve.  But the season I am in doesn't afford me the time to go big in serving outside of my house, and to be honest I am blessed to be in the season I am and don't want to miss it because I am always looking ahead.  But when I read that quote from Mother Teresa I was encouraged...it doesn't matter if I do big things...it just matters that I am willing to take that first step and help JUST ONE.  And to that one person...hopefully I can make a big difference.  I was challenged to be intentional in the everyday moments of my life.

This morning as the whole blog idea came back into my heart and mind I found myself starting to push it away because of all those fears mentioned above, but then I thought..."What if something I share helps JUST ONE other person?"  "What if I could share something that JUST ONE person would connect with ...and ultimately nudge them closer to THE ONE that loves them more than any other?...What if?"  Here I am back to the "What ifs", but this time I decided not to let the "What if?" stop me.  This blog is for that ONE person out there that reads something I share here, and feels hope from it....that one person is worth pushing through my fears.

And honestly, even if I wanted to do "big" things...those things start with that first faith step...helping with that one small need, or making a difference for JUST ONE person. <3  Life really is all about that ONE moment and what we decide to do in it.  So this blog is a piece of my own journey to live intentionally and be present for JUST1.

What is your Just1?  Maybe look at it this way...
"If I can't (fill in the blank) 100 people, 
then I will (fill in the blank) just one."